The Strange Uncertainty

Jeff and I both agree the hardest part of this whole ordeal was to hand off Hannah to the doctors the morning of her surgery. It was very hard to see her after the surgery hooked up to so many wires, tubes, and machines. But that didn't compare to giving your child to a doctor you had met five minutes before. The doctor that came to take her was wonderful. He didn't grab Hannah from my arms and run away with her. He simply told us he was there to carry her to the operating room, and then he waited on me to 'give her up'. It is hard for a mother, or any parent for that matter, to hand your child over to the strange uncertainty. But, it appears we must do it again.

As I posted previously, one of the things that held Hannah in the ICU for 12 days was her respiratory difficulties. She finally overcame them well enough to be released to a regular floor 2 days ago. But, for the last 18 hours her breathing has returned to the condition it was in the ICU. The ear, nose and throat doctors came in to examine her again this morning. We signed the consent to have them put a scope in Hannah's throat to see if they can find the problem. Hannah was very unhappy last night and we're not sure why. It could be a number of things from pain, to breathing difficulties, to stomach aches. Her oxygen saturation dropped below 85 a few times. It has been between 90 and 97 since the breathing tube came out. She still is on the feeding tube and has taken less than an once by bottle since the surgery. We are hoping this scope will help her in breathing and feeding again.

Hannah's procedure is scheduled for 3:00 pm today (Tuesday). She will be sedated for the procedure, but should not have a breathing tube put back in. We are heading back down to the 3rd floor. Please pray that all goes well, the doctors can determine the problems, and they can find a solution.

I must end a good note. We are still getting that beautiful smile from Hannah. Our hearts melt when she grins and coos at us. She is still our little ladybug. I know the worst is behind us and this hand off will not be as heartbreaking as the first.